The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
