so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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