There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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