I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
