bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we're making bets on your personal life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
