Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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