fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
