The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize