He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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