..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
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WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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