Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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