The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
