I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
