We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
