I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
