hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
