This house was built for laser tag.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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