She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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