let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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