his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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