Non-Jews are for practice
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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