turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dear god my vagina.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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