Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!

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(541): View more from Oregon

She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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(712): View more from Iowa

I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.

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(703): View more from Virginia

using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.

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(424): View more from California

He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.

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(714): View more from California

he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy

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