guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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