She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
