WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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