32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
