he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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