if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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