I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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