Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
