So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
