Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
