I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
