i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
