try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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