Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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