Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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