He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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