yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
