I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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