it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
