Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize