I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
