so explain again why im purple
no
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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