I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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