she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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