I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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