actually, I'm a sock model
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
