Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
