I'm gonna have a badass scar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize