You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
