Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
