there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
