Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
