I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
