dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
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11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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