i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
