dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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