We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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