we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
